Let the Rain Heal
Let the rain heal flowers
Let's stop, listen for a hour
listen to the rain speak
Peace is a dove who spreads peace with it's love
Peace is a simple " I'm sorry"
the rain healed flowers that It love,
but It can't heal the world from above
But as we walk on two feet
as the rain descend from the sky
It can't judge the world for this chaos,
But who's to blame for the loved ones that many people have lost?
no one can be responsible for the crime that they commit
If you hate the world so much why can't you come out and admit
Who's to blame?
It's a shame that people think life is a game
the rain heals things.... because It cares
why can't people put down there knives and there guns and share what's on the mind so that people don't have to live in fear
If you fight I'll shield
our love for the world would never die
it would always fly
just like the dove in the sky
If we work together to spread peace maybe the world world live and grow
The rain can't heel the world from above neither can a dove
if we don't who will?
earth is our home where we belong
The rain will guide us, but we have to sing the song
we have to do what is right and what is fair
because if we don't strive for world peace
then the world would really cease
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this is beautiful, i found a few errors, but you did a great job.
Let's stop, listen for a hour
( try something like, "Lets stop and listen for an hour") it has a softer sound and flows easier
Peace is a dove who spreads peace with it's love ( try rewording this a little, it seems to fragmented. use another word for peace, instead of using it twice in a sentence.")
the rain healed flowers that It love,
(" this to sounds hard. maybe the rain heals flowers that it loves.")
like i said before other then grammar, i love this.
i look forward to reading your next post.
kim
Having rain be blatantly related to cleansing and such is... overdone. You might also want to consider trying this without the rhyme scheme.
I really liked this line; there was just something very nice rhythmically about it
The second stanza seems to deviate from the poem's overall intention, and I think it almost dips into a rant at times.
I don't understand. The "sing the song" part doesn't seem to relate to anything previously said, and bringing in the ideas of right and wrong at the very end when they haven't been hinted at the rest of the poem doesn't make much sense. While the idea of peace running the world is similar to the idea introduced, it almost seems more of a tangent that would belong closer to the inside of the poem rather than at the end. Are you sure you know what you're ultimately writing about?
Okay, I found a few things wrong with this.
I think you should start a new line after dove.
I also think you say the rain that healed flowers that it loves to much.
It's a poem, It should be in lines, and when you added this long sentence in between lines it seemed out of place.
You also compare things to a dove to much in your poem.
That's about all I found besides a few spelling things.
Overall, good poem.
~Spirit